Top Five Cool Perks Experienced After Winning the First Two Legs of the Triple Crown

    5. Free peanuts on all Southwest Airline flights.

    4. The chance of taking over Zach Galifianakis’s part in Hangover 3.

    3. A Free beard trim at the local barber with the purchase of hair plugs.

    2. Your picture on the wall of every female jockey room across America.

    1. A free program with paid entrance to the track.

Top Five Things Doug Does on His Birthday

5. Looks for restaurants that offer free birthday meals.

4. Wears a goofy birthday hat for the whole day.

3. Win a race (The Black in today’s 6^th).

2. Gets on the barn intercom system and informs everyone that today is the day, 44

     years ago, that a male model was born.

1. Changes his ringtone to the song, “I’m not here for a long time, I’m here for a good

     time.”

Top Five Highlights From The Preakness

     5. The wonderful hospitality from everyone at Pimlico.
     4. Getting a pep-talk before the race from our new friend/good luck charm, 

         Hope.
     3. Spending the day with Team O'Neill.
     2. I'll Have Another making history.
     1. Getting yet another "15 minutes of fame."

Top Five Signs that the Baltimore Ravens are Going to Have a Big Season Next Year

     5. Team O’Neill gives the Ravens rookie camp a motivational pep talk.

     4. The Ravens learned a new chant for when they break from the huddle… “I’ll

         Have Another!”

     3. Their practice facility has been moved to “Winning Drive Road!” (Corny but

          true).

     2. Team O’Neill added sweet seed to the cafeteria menu.

     1. Coach Harbaugh and his wife love the ponies.

Top Five Perks of Winning the Kentucky Derby

     5. No one questions you about wearing your lucky Derby underwear for weeks
         on end.

     4. If I buy a 6 inch sub at Subway, I get the second one free.

     3. The girl at the White Castle drive-thru throws in a couple extra ketchups now.

     2. Free entrance to the Trainer's Lounge at Hollywood Park.

     1. The horse and jockey in front of the Galt House will be painted in our winning

         colors for all of the world to see.

Top Five Reasons to Head to Kentucky

     5. To visit The Colonel and his fried chicken.

     4. To go to The Louisville Slugger Factory and see how they get their wood to 

          shine (for some reason the wives are really excited about this tour).

     3. Go shadow box on the sidewalk in front of Muhammad Ali’s house.

     2. Take a walk through the smallest hall of fame in the country, The Kentucky 

         Dentist Hall of Fame (nice tooth!)

     1. Oh yeah and maybe go to The Derby and watch a horse named, I’ll Have 
         Another compete in the most exciting two minutes of horse racing.

Top Five LEAST Effective Horse Chatter in the Starting Gate

     5. “Hey Mr. Ed heard you have a problem with the old Guinness bottle.”
     4. “Don’t act like you don’t like that assistant starter putting his tongue in your ear.”
     3. “I heard your dad was gelded after your birth.”
     2. “You look like you did a 50 yard dash in a 40 yard arena.”
     1. “Don’t be checking out my rear end when I pass you.”