Top Five Signs You Are in Love with the Game of Horseracing

     5. You make your husband wear jockey silks, goggles and a helmet while he
          mows the lawn.    
     4. Instead of a Farrah Fawcett poster on your bedroom ceiling, you have a
         poster of Zenyatta.
     3. When you can name all the past winners of the George Woolf Memorial but can’t
          remember who the last three presidents of the US were.
     2. You wallpaper your bathroom with the Racing Form.
     1. You refer to your wife as the “big mare.”

Top Five Ways to Spend the Extra Hour of Daylight Savings

     5. Learn the Santa Anita theme song (whoops… they don’t have one).
     4. Write the Santa Anita theme song.
     3. Wear your short shorts for an extra hour (this does not apply to Dave Kenney, he
         does not need day light!).
     2. Write the sequel to “Let It Ride.”
     1. Handicap for the big pick six carryover at Santa Anita.

Top Five Things You DON’T Want to Hear on the Opening Day of March Madness

     5. “You’re afternoon meeting is back on.”
     4. “There is a ‘George of the Jungle’ special on that the kids want to watch.”
     3. “Sorry honey, I forgot to pay the cable bill.”
     2. “My name is Bill and I’m an alcoholic.”
     1. “We’re out of chips, dip and beer!”

Top Five Things to Consider When You Run 2 in the Big Cap

     5. Your hair and beard look sharp.
     4. Put right jockey on right horse.
     3. If camera pans over to you, you are not looking at your tickets from the previous
         race.
     2. If you dead heat, do they have two Big Cap trophies ready?
     1. Next year we’re shooting for three!