Top Five Ways to Save Money When Purchasing a Christmas Tree

     5. Convert to Judaism until the first of the year.
     4. Win a wager at Hollywood Park and pick a tree up at a good price in the
         parking lot.
     3. Drive around any street in Temple City and pick up one of the fallen trees
         from the side of the road.
     2. Get a cheap coat hanger from the Salvation Army and put a bunch of green
         sweaters on it.
     1. Convince the tree lot manager that you are from the Department of
         Agriculture and their trees are deemed unsafe, then offer to remove the one
         that you want.